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One of the hardest things about working with or even living with a dog is to stay calm even when they do something aggravating. It is part of the primate nature (yes, we all have some monkey genetic memory) to lash out when angered. I can't even name a time when my dog lost patience with me when I did something stupid and bit me just because they were mad at my behavior. They can bite because they are scared or threatened or territorial, but never because they think "we should know better".

Humans, in their egocentric style, make everything about them. The dog “did it to get back at me”. Or, “the dog knows what I want and he is just choosing to make me mad”.

Newsflash:
Dogs do everything for themselves. Even when they make us happy, it's not about us. It's about the effect that our happiness has on them. So, if your dog isn't complying with a command, they may have other reasons.

1. Maybe they're tired.
2. Maybe they're confused.
3. Maybe they're afraid we'll be unhappy with them like we were the last time they finally came after being called 9 times.

They don't just decide to oppose us out of anger towards us.
Humans lash out to release anger. Dogs do not. Some owners inflict pain on their dogs to release their own frustration. Some do it because aversive training makes sense to them. But the "I'll do it because he'll learn to avoid the pain" attitude has one big flaw:

If you have to use pain to correct your dog more than once, it's not working.

That statement is not meant to motivate anyone to "up the ante" with stronger corrections. It's meant to illuminate the fact that most living things will go towards pleasure more frequently than they will act to avoid pain. Pleasure is a big motivator. Additionally, there is virtually no risk that you will stimulate your dog to do something aggressive when you use rewards (and the removal of rewards) instead of harsh corrections when training.

So, take 10 deep breaths. Learn to laugh at yourself. Don't take your frustrations out on your dog even when your dog is the source. Walk away when you loose your patience. Remind yourself that it's not all about you. Between you and your dog, you're the only one who holds a grudge.

Written by the fabulous Laura Brody, ABCDT : Wag & Train instructor